Sorry, but our real lives are virtual now. It’s time to stop lamenting brains past, and start studying the maps of this new frontier, one that will allow us to express our emotions through Oprah GIFs and pay our bills online. The Problematic Internet Use Questionnaire, which researchers use to determine if your internet activity is a detriment to your life, is itself a problem. It tracks three factors: obsession (fantasizing about the internet), neglect (of what you’re supposed to be doing while you’re deep in the k-hole of a fantasy real estate search), and control disorder (you can’t sign off). But some of the questions used to gauge problematic internet use, like “How often do you fear that life without the internet would be boring or empty?” or “[Do] you find yourself saying ‘just a few more minutes’ when online?” paint almost every modern human as a walking DSM case study. Subcategory: memes.